


blossoming alone (over you)

by seekrest



Series: Spideychelle Bingo [3]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: (MJ edition), (it's me of course there's a lil angst), Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Existential Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Protective Michelle Jones, but it can help, love can't stop the bad things from happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26048107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: “You sure you’re okay?” Peter whispers.Michelle knows he’s talking about her steadily racing heart, feeling that it’s a little too late and she’s a little too out of it to have a proper conversation as she nods and says, “I’m okay.”Peter hums like he doesn’t believe her but doesn’t push it,  hearing his breathing start to slow and his grip on her to loosen just as he whispers, “Love you.”Michelle smiles, forcing herself to be in the moment and not in the bad memories - wrapping her arm around his waist.“Love you too.”
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: Spideychelle Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845310
Comments: 38
Kudos: 90





	blossoming alone (over you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spidermanhomecomeme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidermanhomecomeme/gifts).



> Happy birthday G!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy some established relationship angst, fluffy smut and gritty domestic bliss :)

The rain is the first thing Michelle hears, the clap of thunder startling her slightly as she raises her head. She blearily glances around the room, the lightning filling out the room once more as she sits up - only to hear the thunder rolling once more when she turns around. 

Her heart seizes in place for a brief second at the thought that Peter was still out there on patrol, remembering the last time that he’d tried to pair swinging around the city with a thunderstorm. For a split second, Michelle is thrown back into her memories - the frantic call to May, the worried expression on Tony’s face as they all waited in the medbay, the agony of the long hours they spent hoping that the lightning strike that had shot him out of the sky wouldn’t be fatal.

But all of that is completely eliminated when she finally turns to see him, her heart still pounding in her chest from the residual stress when Peter snores - the sound of it competing with the thunderstorm outside. 

Michelle leans closer to him, smirking to herself as she takes him in - the only time Peter ever looked calm and peaceful being when he was in such a complete sleep.

She breathes in, trying to calm down just as Peter stirs - another crack of thunder waking him as he blinks a few times, only to make a face when he locks eyes with her.

“MJ? You okay?” He says, sitting up and immediately searching her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says, watching Peter from no doubt at the sound of her racing heart. “Thunder woke me up.”

“Me too,” Peter says carefully, glancing back to the tiny window in his bedroom before looking back to Michelle, “I didn’t even know it was going to rain.”

“You should, not like you need to know that information or anything,” she says with a smile, Peter grinning before extending his arm out to her. Michelle lets herself be wrapped up in his embrace, snuggling her head into his chest as he says, “you’re right.”

Michelle scoffs like that’s a given, only for Peter’s embrace to tighten as he whispers, “you sure you’re okay?”

Michelle knows he’s talking about her steadily racing heart, feeling that it’s a little too late and she’s a little too out of it to have a proper conversation as she nods. “I’m okay.”

Peter hums like he doesn’t believe her but doesn’t push it, Michelle getting the sense that for as easily as he’d woken up that he could just as easily fall back asleep.

He does in record time, Michelle hearing his breathing start to slow and his grip on her to loosen just as he whispers, “Love you.”

Michelle smiles, forcing herself to be in the moment and not in the bad memories of before as she wraps her arm around his waist.

“Love you too.” 

* * *

When Michelle wakes up a second time, sunlight is streaming in - as much as it can for as small as his window is. She stretches her legs and her arms, only to freeze when she realizes she’s alone. 

She glances around their messy bedroom, sheets all tangled up and Peter’s side of the bed decidedly empty. Michelle sits up, looking around for the Spider-Man suit and finding it missing - shaking her head as she rolls herself out of bed. 

As she makes her way to the bathroom, Michelle thinks of all the times she used to daydream about the two of them living together - what their life would be like and how being with a superhero could actually be.

The fantasy and the reality were two entirely different things, she thinks as she washes her hands - the quiet of waking up in bed alone being something she had gotten used to more and more as the years passed. 

It wasn’t something she had any regrets for, Michelle was used to the presence of her own company for years before she had ever met Peter. But it was still a constant reminder that for as much as she loved Peter, she also had to make peace with Spider-Man - the not so imaginary third party in their relationship that always served as a reminder that anytime Peter left, it could be the last. 

Michelle shoves that thought away as she dries her hands, forcing herself not to spiral as she can so easily do when she’s alone with her thoughts too early in the morning. 

She walks back into the bedroom only to hear something from the other room, glancing out to the living room and laughing to herself when she sees the window prop open.

“Peter, what are you doing?” She asks, Peter glancing up to her as he tries to step in from the window, look up at her and take off his mask all at the same time - all the while holding onto a paper bag full of what Michelle can only guess is food. 

“MJ! Good-- ah,” Peter says with a huff before falling on his face, his usual spider balance thrown off as she rushes forward. 

“I’m fine, I’m okay. Just-- things are still a little slick out there,” he says, Michelle raising an eyebrow as he takes his mask off. Michelle can see the faint outline of a bruise on his cheek, going to say something when he interrupts her, “nothing like a little Scorpion fight to get the blood pumping.”

“Scorpion was out there?” She asks, Peter nodding as she helps him stand - Peter more than capable of doing it himself but allowing her the chance to help as he grins. He kisses her then hands her the bag of food. 

“Yeah, he’s an asshole but what else is new. Here, I got us some bagels. I’m gonna shower and then I’ll tell you all about it.”

Michelle takes the food as he grins, kissing her again before rushing off to the bedroom - Michelle noticing the slight limp in his walk as he does. She sighs, glancing to the food and walking it to their couch - setting on the little coffee table Ned had bought them as she hears the shower going.

She’s not particularly hungry but opens the bag anyway as she sits down, glancing through the goods and debating if she really wanted to eat when she wasn’t feeling it. Her mind can’t help but wander back to Peter’s fight with Scorpion, the bruise on his face and the limp he had. She was already thinking thoughts she tells herself she shouldn’t, the physical reminder that her worst fears could come to life playing out before her very eyes. 

She must get lost in her thoughts a bit too long, startled when Peter walks back into the living room with a pair of sweatpants on and wet hair. He stops when he sees her, bag still open but food untouched as he says, “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s nothing,” she says, shaking her head and turning her attention back to the food. She goes to take the bagels out only for Peter to come and sit next to her, feeling his stare on her as he says, “it doesn’t look like nothing.” 

“It’s--” Michelle cuts herself off, looking at the bagels before glancing back at Peter - seeing the confusion and the concern written all over his face as she sighs. “It’s not anything you can change, Pete.”

“Is it a bad day?” Peter asks quietly, referencing the darkness that etched around Michelle’s heart and her mind, a sinking feeling of _nothingness_ that used to catch her off guard and now she understood better.

She shakes her head, moving her hands away from the bagels as she says, “no. Just… thinking about us.”

“That’s… ominous,” Peter says lightly, Michelle cracking a smile and rolling her eyes as Peter sits closer - Michelle immediately leaning into him. 

“You ever think about the future?” She asks, matching his light tone but seeing from the way his expression changes that he knows she’s being serious.

“All the time,” he answers solemnly, tracing light circles along her back - the t-shirt she still has on bunching up in places as he continues, “any part of the future in particular you’re thinking about?”

Michelle bites the inside of her cheek, debating with herself and where she wants this conversation to go. This wouldn’t be the first time she had expressed her concerns, the many discussions they’ve had about their lives and their futures reverberating around in her head. 

Trying to reconcile with the sheer unpredictability of Peter’s life with the planner in Michelle had boiled over from annoyance to acceptance at this point, not particularly interested in rehashing a conversation they’d had over and over again. 

She’s not even sure what it is that she’s exactly feeling, Peter already knowing her deepest fears and an understanding between them that despite it, Spider-Man wasn’t something he would ever be able to give up.

Michelle didn’t want him to, not for her - knowing that if she were to even _dream_ of doing so would be the equivalent of Peter asking her to give up her art or her law degree. If Peter wasn’t Spider-Man, he wasn’t _Peter_ \- the person she’d fallen in love and chose to love every single day not being two people, but one in the same. 

“Just us,” she says, a quiet resolve flowing through her as she kisses him slowly. Peter immediately responds, the hand on her back warm and inviting as he presses her closer to him.

“What about us?” He asks, a question and an out for her to talk more if she wants - Michelle appreciating Peter’s opening to invite in more conversation.

But Michelle’s not focused on words right now and more focused on the right now, the fears of the future and tomorrow pushed away for the moment as she kisses him with a little more purpose - moving so that she’s straddling him on the couch.

She breathes him in, his tongue moving with hers as his hands start to wander - Michelle slowly moving her hips as Peter shudders, her own hands tangling themselves in his hair. 

Time starts to come to a standstill as their lips move, hands and hips and limbs all moving in tandem with each other - a dance that Michelle is intimately acquainted with and glad that in many respects, they knew each other so well. 

Yet it’s that knowledge that finally causes Peter to stop, coming up for air after swirling his tongue around her breast - Michelle’s shirt long gone and feeling Peter hard and ready underneath her.

“What?” She pants, Peter looking up at her with a mixture of dazed confusion and intense devotion - searching her face.

“Are you okay?” He asks again, Michelle breathing heavily as she looks into his eyes. 

She was and she wasn’t - still unsure of how she feels enough so that it bothers her but not necessarily enough that she wants to pause what they’re doing. Michelle appreciates Peter more in that instance than she thinks she ever has, glad that for as clearly horny and as ready as he would be to continue what they were doing that even still, he’s thinking about her.

It’s that knowledge that propels her to nod her head, leaning in once more as she says, “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

Peter immediately recognizes the words she uses rather than the ones she doesn’t, raising an eyebrow as he goes to say something when she says, “Later. Please just… _please_.”

Peter’s eyes dance across her face, searching for something before finally settling as he nods once more - bringing a hand up to her face and gently caressing his thumb across her cheek. 

“Okay,” he whispers, his eyes tender and full of enough love that it makes a part of Michelle shatter at the possibility that there will ever be a day she won’t see that face ever again. He meets her halfway, pulling themselves back into a kiss no less passionate than it was before but filled with a different kind of meaning. 

The bedroom is only a few feet away but Michelle doesn’t dare move away, Peter’s arms wrapping around her as they continue movements from before - as if this little slice of time and of life was just the two of them and would be broken if they leave.

As his hands move, Michelle sharply inhaling when his fingers easily slip into her and then relief when _he_ finally does - she allows herself the chance not to focus on the future or any of her fears. Instead Michelle forces herself to be in the moment, to the movement of his hips and the feel of him inside her, committing his soft pants and the adoring look on his face to memory as they rock together. 

* * *

Michelle takes a sip of her tea before leaning over to set it on their bedside table, cradling a book on her knees with one hand and the other rifling through Peter’s hair, his head resting on her stomach as he plays with his phone. 

It’s some silly word game, a brain teaser that he and Ned had argued over who was better at it than the other. Michelle thought they were being stupid but she didn’t begrudge them this, knowing it was just another way for them to keep in touch considering Ned’s move to California after college. 

“Fuck,” Peter whispers, eliciting a snicker from Michelle when she glances over to him. 

“What happened?”

“He got me,” Peter grumbles, Michelle watching his lips pucker from this angle as he twists them together - the line in the middle of his forehead deepening as it always does when he’s concentrating too hard. “I hate this game.”

“So stop playing it, nerd,” she says teasingly, Peter glancing up to her with faux offense. 

“I can’t do that. Then he’ll win,” he says, Michelle just rolling her eyes as her fingers continue to rifle through his hair. 

“Let him win, Parker. He’s smarter than you anyway.”

“Hey!” Peter says, setting his phone down but smiling, Michelle glancing down to him and feeling that same familiar lump in her throat from before. 

If anyone understood how Michelle felt, it was Ned - the friendship between the two of them built on a level of mutual trust and understanding of how terrified they both were at Peter flinging himself into danger. 

She pushes that away for now, knowing that she’ll have to make good on her promise to talk later but not wanting to do it just yet as she smiles - Peter gazing up at her with the kind of love that still overwhelms her. 

He reaches a hand for her, Michelle removing the one settled through his hair and interlocking with his fingers.

“What are you reading?” 

“ _A Whisper and a Promise_ ,” she says, turning her attention back to the book.

“What kind of book is that?” Peter asks, sounding confused as she laughs and looks back to him as his head adjusts to finally take in the cover, only for Michelle to laugh when he finally sees it.

“A _romance_ novel? I thought you were reading something--”

“Be very careful of what you say next,” Michelle says, Peter’s mouth opening, closing then opening again as he says, “educational.”

Michelle laughs, glancing at the page number to remind herself for where she was later before setting the book down to the side - leaning back over to Peter who looks at her with an adorable expression on his face. 

“Are you _judging_ me right now?”

“No, never. I would never judge your reading preferences.”

“You’ve seen me read romance novels before,” she counters, shaking her head, “I have a whole shelf of them.”

“Yeah, but you always mentioned Betty reading them with you or Liz sending you something. I didn’t--”

“Think I actually liked them? Why the hell would I waste money on something I don’t like?” She asks, Peter’s eyebrows wrinkling as he blinks a few times - staring up at the ceiling before says, “You wouldn’t.”

Michelle nods, glad that he knows her as well as he seems to think he does when he says, “Who would’ve guessed you were such a sap.”

Michelle rolls her eyes, looking back to Peter and seeing the grin on his face as she says, “Of course I am. I’m dating _you_.”

Peter scoffs, sitting up again before kissing her - Michelle feeling the smile on his lips as he does. 

“Face it, MJ. You’re a _softie_ ,” he whispers into her mouth, Michelle rolling her eyes but kissing him once more.

“ _You’re_ a nerd.”

“I know what you are but what am I?” He counters playfully, pressing kisses from her lips to her cheeks and then finally her neck, Michelle humming in contentment as he moves his lips. 

She scoots down on the bed, Peter smiling as he moves to hover over her - hand rucking up underneath her shirt as he says, “Why did we even put clothes back on?”

“Who knows?” She whispers, letting her hands gently brush over his arms as she kisses him again - glad that they’d taken a bagel break and that she had the chance to read something a little more exciting than a law brief to get her going. 

Not that she needs it she thinks as Peter’s mouth starts to trail downwards, kissing her over her shirt before he pauses, hearing his groan when he says, “MJ…”

She snickers, feeling his thumb trace across her hip and slide under the band of her underwear as she looks down at him and innocently asks, “What?”

“You know what,” he says, eyes flashing with something that sends a thrill down her spine, “where did you even buy these?” 

Michelle smirks, Peter toying with the band of her Spider-Man underwear once more as she says, “the internet is both dangerous and terrifying, Pete. Your merchandise is something else.”

“It’s not really _my_ merchandise,” he says wistfully, “not like we ever see a dime of it anyway.”

“You should do something about that,” Michelle says, moving her hips a little impatiently as he laughs, thumbing through the bands of her underwear once more.

“Yes ma’am,” he says, Michelle sighing as he works her underwear off - letting herself relax into the pillows and waiting for him. 

But then he surprises her, crawling back up to face her when Michelle makes a face. 

“What--”

“We have to talk about whatever is going on, you know that right?”

Michelle bites her lip, seeing the determined look on Peter’s face. She had no desire in hiding this from Peter, her teenage insecurity of holding back the truth from the people who loved her echoing in the background. 

But Peter has known her and has loved her for far too long to see past it, the joke of not knowing her true preference for romance novels fading away for the reality that he actually _knows_ her - in a way that both thrills and terrifies her. 

He braces his hands on each side of her face, running his thumb gently across her cheek as he says, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Michelle does - it’s not even a doubt in her mind. She’s told Peter things that she hasn’t told anyone else, trusting him more than she thinks she ever has before.

Her fears - latent, dark and creeping at the very edge of a future she can’t bring herself to dwell on - are real, are things that Peter knows all too well. For as much as she doesn’t want to increase the burden and overwhelming guilt complex he already faces in his daily life, Michelle understands that she can’t keep this from him and that she won’t.

“I do,” she finally says, Peter giving her a soft smile before it turns into a smirk.

“So you wanna talk now or--”

Michelle glares at him, Peter laughing as he says, “Okay, okay, I’ll stop teasing you.”

He kisses her, Michelle saying, “You better--”

But then she’s cut off, inhaling when he moves back down to where she wants him - closing her eyes as his mouth begins to move in a different way. 

Any other thoughts start to fade away, save for one - a truth that settles between her chest just as real as Peter’s head being between her legs. 

The future, the endless possibilities and the fears that create her nightmares - they’re all things that neither of them can run from. 

Yet she loves him - wholly, totally and completely loves him. 

It’s not enough, Michelle knows this - love by itself could never be enough to cover the chasm of what Peter leaving her behind would mean. That love would not be the one to cradle her broken heart. That love could not always keep him safe. 

But love is what brought them together - choosing to love him one of the best decisions she’s made in her life. 

As Michelle’s back arches, lost to a bliss that threatens to overwhelm all her senses - she considers the earth-shattering power of love. The love she has for him. The love he has for her. The love that built up their lives together and had carried them all through college to now. 

Love couldn’t save them. Michelle knows this. 

Yet for one moment, for one short pocket of time before their inevitable conversation and the exploration of a future she hoped would never happen, Michelle allowed herself the chance to rest. 

To allow love - no matter how long or how fleeting or how precious - to be enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> I love it when people scream at me in the comments. 
> 
> Come hang out with me on [tumblr](https://seek-rest.tumblr.com). And check out [this beautiful art](https://machiavelien.tumblr.com/post/627155988499382272/happy-birthday-to-the-wonderful) by machi that inspired a scene from this fic :)


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